How's He Going To Get You To Come Back?

He's going to be desperate.  He needs you badly.  After all, because you are in his life, he can't take all of his frustrations out on you.  As long as he can do that, he'll make it in this world.

He's going to try anything he thinks will work.  First, he'll try all of the things that have worked before.  If these don't work, he'll try a few more.  Several hundred women have told us how he gets them back.  Here are some of them:

He'll say:

"I'm sorry."  (You'll think "maybe he means it this time.  He should be sorry.")

"I promise, I'll never do it again."  (You want to believe this.)

"I just don't know what got into me."  (Oh, yes he does!)

"I don't remember what happened.  (Oh, yes they do...they know exactly what happened.)

"I just went crazy."  (He sure did!)

"I can't live without you."  (This is a good one...poor, poor man.  Did you ever think you'd be so important to a man that he actually could not continue his life without you?)

He'll blame you:

"You made me do it."

"If you wouldn't do that it wouldn't happen."

"You drive me crazy."

"You make me so mad."

"It's your fault."

He'll threaten:

"I'll kill you, you bitch."

"If I can't have you, I'll fix your face so no other man will ever want you."

"I'll take the kids away from you."

"You'll never see the kids again."

"I'll prove you're an unfit mother."

"I'm going to kill myself."

He may make a half-hearted attempt...the phony try...but he will be sure he gets help in time...OR...there is a small chance he may really do it.  Anyway, he'll get your attention quickly with this one.  Remember, there are professionals ready to help him and they are better at helping him than you are.

If anything can make you go running back, this one sure could.  After all, you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?  There are Crisis Lines to help.  Make sure he knows the number and if he really wants help, he'll get it there.  Then let him decide what to do with his life.  After all, he's an adult now.

He'll say:

"What will the family think?"  (He's probably already has half of the family convinced you're nuts.  He'll probably be able to use your leaving to convince the rest of them.)

"The kids need a father."  (This is a good one.  Every woman wants her kids to have a father.)

"I'll admit...I have a problem."  (Finally!  But he doesn't really mean it.  He thinks you're the one with the problem.)

He'll cry, beg, plead.  He'll bribe:

"I'll buy you a house full of furniture."

"I'll buy you a car."

He'll send you flowers, buy you gifts and new clothes. He'll promise to do all of the things you've been trying to get him to do.  He'll promise to take you places...out to dinner...to visit friends and family.

He'll promise:

"I'll go to church."

"I'll quit drinking."

"I'll go to A.A."

 "I'll get counseling."  (This is what you've been wanting for a long time...that's why he's telling you this.  You've known for a long time there is something terribly wrong with him...and counseling would help.  You'll think...now out troubles are over.  Wrong!  This is a game...a manipulation.)

"We'll both get counseling."  (See how quickly his problem becomes yours, too!  He's trying to tell you that you're the one who needs help, not him.)

"We'll go to marriage counseling."  (You didn't know about anger control therapy.  Haven't you thought that you both needed "marriage" counseling?  the problem is not a "marriage" problem. It's an anger problem, and it's his, not yours.)

"I'll go to Anger Control Therapy."  (he may actually go a few times, but probably not.  It won't be long before he tells you he's cured and doesn't need it anymore.)

All of the promises are "promises he can't keep."  Don't expect him to.  Most are lies.  Remember all abusive men lie.  They are excellent liars.  They've had a lifetime of practice.

He'll do the "poor me" number on you and you'll feel sorry for him.  He may disappear for a few days, only to reappear without a word.  Did you worry about him?  Just think how you'd worry if he left for good.  That's what he wants you to think about. Did he mention another woman?  This will really bring you back in a hurry.

Remember:  this man can be so believable and you want to believe him.